I just ate some nasty chips at a little company party. They are supposed to be corn chips, but they have this nasty stale peanuts aftertaste. It’s been an hour, I can’t shake the aftertaste. Things I tried to fix it: bud light, pepsi, mountain dew, popcorn, peppermint, and as a last resort – scraping at my tongue with my fingernails. It won’t go away.

The funny part is, my co-workers knew the chips were bad. There was a group of three of them standing around the chips waiting for people to eat them and laughing at their reactions. I’m not sure if I should be upset with them or admire their sick sense of humor. I take that back, I admire their sick sense of humor. Fuckers.

So as previously mentioned, last weekend I made the trek back to Oklahoma to attend my ten year high school reunion. If you haven’t been, you should totally go. It was a hell of a lot more fun than I expected it to be. Seriously. Unexpectedly fun.

There were some disappointments though. Just like in high school, the popular kids were swarming together, acting like they are still better than everyone else. But that didn’t bother me, because there were plenty of people to see and catch up with and Jim was cracking me up. My favorite Jim moment was after a girl from high school finished introducing me to her husband and telling me all about their lives working as youth ministers, Jim stops by just in time to remind her of the time that she cheated off of him on a history test in middle school. That guy cracks me up.

We did the traditional “awards” ceremony, including things like “most kids”, “longest marriage”, “traveled the farthest to be here”, etc. But none of the categories were what I was interested in. I had some discussions with friends at the reunion and here’s the compiled list of what we would have liked to see:

1. Most time spent in prison
2. Most times divorced
3. Still lives with their parents
4. Most STDs
5. Most abortions (my personal favorite)

So when you go to your high school reunion, talk them into giving out those awards. I guarantee it’ll make the event more fun.