Since I was out of town for the Fourth, I’ll eventually post the flurry of commentary that I wrote on the plane to and from San Jose. Here’s a start:

6/30/2005

So it’s been four days since Christmas moved out of the house. I’ve set up booby traps all over the house in case Joe Pesci and that other guy show up to steal my valuables, such as my numerous taped copies of Kids in the Hall reruns on Comedy Central. The house never seemed so big. Damn there are a lot of places for me to make a mess. I should probably get a maid service to clean the place once for me. Maybe that’ll make it easier. But any maid that shows up is going to have hard time cleaning up the tar I used to protect the back door.

Out of sheer embarrassment, I watered my lawn for the first time ever this week (thanks Jen!). That’s in the first two and a half years that I’ve owned this place boys and girls. Call me a lazy fuck. I like to think of myself an environmental conservationalist who is doing his part to keep water consumption low. And a lazy fuck. It’s amazing how nature works though. My lawn looked completely scorched two days ago. I woke up this morning and it was mostly green. Water apparently makes grass grow. I knew I should have paid more attention in my botany class.

Hedges is participating in some comedy event at the Velveta Room in the middle of July. After the show is over there’s going to be an open mike night. Shy as I am, I’m seriously considering the idea of trying my hand at comedy again. I’d have to actually write something up though. Maybe that would keep me from stumbling as much as I did at Brian’s birthday party.