In a recent conversation with an acquaintance that I haven’t seen in years, an awkward conversation about my company ensued. I’ve been trying to put together what all went wrong and here’s what I’ve come up with.

First off, unless I know you fairly well, don’t tell me about getting turned down after interviewing with my company. There’s no good way to respond to that. “Gee, sorry we didn’t like you. Maybe you don’t interview well.” Or I could respond with a little more bite to my response. “Well, as I remember from college, you’re a moron. I’m actually surprised you managed to get an onsite interview in the first place.” I’ve actually had this happen multiple times. The worst part though, is when someone is fishing for a job. For some reason, people who are fishing for a job (usually with very obvious desperation) do two things wrong: They spend half of their conversation with me complaining about how bad their current job sucks. “I have to work overtime all the time and I don’t get paid enough and the fluffer only comes by every two weeks.” I guess some people think that if I feel sorry for them, then I’ll be more likely to give them a hand at finding a job (pun-tastic!). Not true. The other thing they do, that I can’t quite explain, is they insult my company. It always goes the same way: “I’ve been trying to get into your company for a while.” “Yeah, we have a pretty rigorous interview process.” “Well, I think you guys have some pretty bad age discrimination. I know a guy who was older that got turned down by your company.” Once again, a.w.k. What the fuck am I supposed to say? Oh my god, my company discriminates? ” I have worked for my company for five years will blindly leave the company because you heard from some guy (who probably heard from another guy) that my company discriminates! I haven’t seen you in four years, but I completely believe you. I’m going to march down to my office tomorrow and submit my resignation.” Or maybe I wouldn’t do something so forceful. “I’m going to fix this right now. Give me the name of the guy who got turned down and I’ll make this right. I’m sure his emotions weren’t playing a part in his statements after he got turned down for a job!” It’s not always age discrimination that people accuse my company of; otherwise I’d start to be concerned about it. It’s just always something. And while I won’t say that my company is perfect in every way, we actually have a more fair process for interviewing/hiring than I’ve seen at any of the previous companies that I’ve worked for. That’s not to say that people don’t fall through the cracks. We make plenty of mistakes (and I’m just speaking about the stuff I know about), but they are mistakes and not discrimination. What people need to realize is that interviewing is a human process . Mistakes will be made.

As an aside, just in case she happens to read this: I’m not talking about you Ann.