As this is a forum for me to complain about everything that is wrong about the world:

Today at lunch I saw a guy wearing a “Austin, Texas” t-shirt. Let’s go through some of the problems with this. Whether he lives in Austin or not, he is definitely ‘that guy’. There is under no circumstance a need for you to be wearing a t-shirt indicating to everyone the name of the city and state they are in. If he lives in Austin, he or someone he knows and to purchase that shirt for him with some idea in mind like “Now he’ll never forget where he is”. If he doesn’t live in Austin, he or someone he knows had to purchase that shirt for him. Someone saw this shirt and said, “I’m going to love wearing this around all the time. And maybe people will come up to me and say ‘Oh wow, Austin, Texas. Have you been there before?’ And I’ll impress them with my adventures of eating at Trudy’s while wearing this kickass t-shirt tucked into my wranglers.” As a general note to everyone, if you’re ever going to buy a t-shirt for me while you’re on vacation, don’t buy one of the stupid, tourist city/state jobs. I’d rather you buy a ‘My friend went to [some location] and all I got was this crappy t-shirt’. Alright, that’s enough complaining for now.

On the other hand, maybe I’m being mean. The devil machine told me this story about a drunk that came into his sonic once asking for bus far to get him back to the St. Louis area (he was in OKC). Apparently the guy was some kind of wicked drunk that would go on binges and had would just sober up in some far off state. Maybe that’s what this guy had going on too. He had some kind of alcohol/drug-induced Memento business going on and he thought the t-shirt was a better idea than tatooing “Austin, Texas” on his chest. I hope that’s it.

Not to the New Year; what kind of a loser do you take me for?? Besides, it’s not really New Year’s Eve without Dick Clark’s Rockin’ New Year’s Eve! Since Dick Clark is finally on the verge of death, ABC is replacing him with the lovable tag team of Regis Philbin and Ashlee Simpson. That’s one dynamic duo. I, fortunately, will not be watching the rockin’ new year’s eve. I will be gambling, in what is probably the most lawless place in the country, an indian reservation in Louisiana. For those unfamiliar with Louisiana, you may remember it as the last state to raise the drinking age to 21 (it was 19 previously, I believe). And they only gave in because the federal government refused to give them money to build and maintain the highway system. They didn’t give up without a fight though. And the highway system in Louisiana is a testament to their desire to allow 19 year olds to drink.

I’m excited about going on another gambling trip because I haven’t been to a real casino to play poker since I was in Toronto, eh. I’ve been doing pretty well online, so I’m always anxious to see if it’ll work out the same way for me in a live casino game. Plus, it’s much more fun to unleash the power of the 36o on people in person. In my opinion, it’s a much better hand to play out than 72o, because people online almost expect you to play it anymore. Last week I took down pocket aces with my 36o when I hit a 3 on the flop and another on the turn. The guy got so upset that he left the table. It’s not awesome that he left, but if he had stuck around I could have counted on him calling any bet I put out there. Maybe next time. I’ve been trying to think of a good name for 36o and I’ve been running into some trouble. Up until now, it’s just been the magical hand, but I’ve been trying to work on something slick. So far the only name I’ve come up with is “place the five”, which is a reference to craps (that’s what the stickman says when you roll a nine). If you’ve got some ideas, throw’em out. Anyway, there is much fun to be had in Louisiana and I’m excited about making it out for a second time (we went for new year’s two years ago). It’ll be nothing but gambling for two solid days because there really isn’t a whole lot to see in Lake Charles. In fact, here’s the view from my hotel room two years ago.

That’s a bud light can on the window sill. Exotic, I know.