The weather here has been a real pain in the ass in the last couple weeks. Yes, I know that the weather is kah-razy everywhere and “If you don’t like the weather, wait 15 minutes” (as people say just about everywhere except California), I’m not trying to act like the weather here is worthy of extreme amazement. Rather, the weather here has been a pain in the ass because it will be cold for about 36 hours and then it will be warm again. Why is this such a pain in the ass? Because my ancient thermostat at home has to be manually switched between heat and A/C. As if it isn’t enough of an annoyance to wake up in the middle of the night because it’s ice fucking cold to turn on the heat, my thermostat also only has one set of temperatures stored whether you have the A/C or heat on. So that means I not only have to flip the switch, but I also have to go through and change the temperature settings to match my desired heat level.

As my friend Patrick pointed out: cars can already do this. Lots of cars now have a temperature setting where you just specify what temperature you want it to be in the cabin and the car figures out what it needs to do to get you there. I’m not proposing something on this level, this would be a little too simplistic for my house. I need a little more functionality.

So here’s what should be included:

1. Separately stored temperatures for heating and A/C. That is, I should be able to set up what I want the A/C to be set at for different times throughout the day as well as the heat. That way when I switch between the two I won’t have to go in and reprogram the whole schedule
2. A threshold level because I don’t want it to switch to heat the second it gets below my desired temperature. So I could maybe set it to 5 degrees below desired before the heat kicked on. And it would also have to have an outside temperature gauge because I’d want it to only kick on when it was even colder outside than the threshold inside.
3. A decent temperature sensor that maybe averages the temperature in multiple rooms. I can’t count the number of times it’s been somewhere near 85 degrees in my bedroom, but the fucking sensor thinks it’s 70 degrees until I change the desired temperature setting.
4. A sensor that could determine that I’m kicking the sheets off in the middle of the night and turn the temperature down for me. I’m already uncomfortable at this point, so it’d be nice if I didn’t have to stumble into the living room to change the temperature.
5. And on that note, a wireless remote that I could keep at my bed, in case the previous sensor method wasn’t working or for any other situation for that matter.
6. Maybe a sensor that could determine if no one was home and let it get a little warmer. No sense in running the A/C while I’m not there
7. A turbo mode, like old school PCs have, so when I get home and I’m feeling pissed of it could make the house cool faster
8. Or even better, something that could connect to a GPS sensor in my car and could determine that I’m on my way home and turn on the A/C for me. Yeah.

Alright, that’s enough bitching about my thermostat. It’s just been a constant annoyance for the past few days. And I think something like that should be on the market. I saw a Nintendo DS for the first time today, and if something like that is on the market for $150, then my thermostat should be available with most of those features. Back to the DS, it was wicked awesome. I bought kat a Game Boy Advance SP last year, but this thing is light years beyond it. My only concern is the stylus, being someone who’s never used one before, but everything I’ve read online says that it’s something you get used to. The graphics are gorgeous though. It’s really something you have to see.