Hard to believe it’s been three years, but my lease renewal form is always there to remind me. So what have I learned in the last year?

• Hicksville - isn’t just a town in Oklahoma anymore.
• Apparently NY extends beyond the NYC metro and Long Island.
• Montauk is farther than the Hamptons
• El Rey Del Sabor is absolutely the best Mexican food in the city. My waistline will suffer as a result of its proximity to work.
• Jury duty isn’t fun for anyone.
• I still love the Dead Milkmen.
• Video poker is awesome.
• The ACES train is pretty cool, but there is no way it can last given how empty our train was when we took it on a Friday in April.
• Pigeons ride the subway.
• Chicken Guaco Taco Loco = delicious
• The majority of bike paths in NYC suck. Central Park is ok, but gets supercrowded in the afternoon. Time to explore some other options.
• I pay way the fuck too much for this apartment. It’s time to move on to cheaper and better apartments.

So what’s up for this year? Moving, Coney Island, more A/C trips, and hopefully getting back to soccer (or getting another surgery) either way, something needs to happen with my knee.

I registered to vote in NY because I’m an adult and I value my civic duty. Of course, with my luck that also means that I would immediately get called for jury duty.

Jury duty in Manhattan is a minimum two day process. Having never served on a jury before I didn’t really know what to expect, so I showed up to day 1 armed with two magazines. By 9:30 I was bored out of my mind and ready to kill myself. Thankfully they let us out at mid-day because there’s no way I would have made it through the entire day. Day 2 on the other hand, I came prepared. NYC has free wifi so I brought my laptop and tried to get some work done. Of course once I really got started, I got selected for a supreme court case. Then it was 4 hours of lawyers explaining what malpractice is. It was painful, but given some of the questions and responses that people were giving, I’m amazed that any cases ever get settled. It’s situations like this that serve as a painful reminder that there are a lot of stupid people in the world. And the really crazy part of all of this is who actually got selected for the jury; I was really surprised at who was excluded. I’m sure there’s a valid reason for why they let some jurors go, but I can’t explain it.

I think I was let go not for my own statements, but rather for a statement that another potential juror made while I was in the room. I’m pretty sure he ‘biased’ all of us, I guess I should thank him. Otherwise I would be stuck in a weeklong trial as an alternate where I would likely be let go after I sat around listening to 5-7 days of medical testimony. I do think I have a valid reason for never serving on a jury. Most people already know that I have a serious bias against people who talk at me for more than 5 minutes straight. I should look into getting a medical waiver for that. I guess I have time now though, I don’t have to work a jury for 6 more years as long as I continue to live in Manhattan, which is definitely fuel to the “never move to the other boroughs” fire. See you in six years, suckers.

I promise, I’m really going to write it up this time, just not today. For now, a few details. I saw all or part of 46 individual shows over four days with two duplicates (Thermals and An Horse). My music distribution wasn’t at all consistent. In fact it went 15, 16, 4, 11 (wed-sat, respective). But Friday was also the day I saw Metallica, so there was no way anyone could top that show.

Last year sxsw was all about cover songs; while I didn’t take any notes about what cover songs bands played I have multiple entries in my notes that say things like “Another fucking cover song! wft?” (and that is w-f-t not wtf, proving how drunk I was). this year was not so much about cover songs, but I do have my top three:

1. Amanda Palmer - Creep
2. Airborne Toxic Event - Goodbye Horses
3. Silversun Pickups playing the opening notes to the Master of Puppets break solo between songs

Sure, the Silversun reference isn’t exactly a cover, but it was really funny (to me at least). Now time to get some sleep before my flight tomorrow.

So I never did get around to writing up SXSW 2008. And now that I’m trying to go through my notes to remember what bands I saw, I see that I didn’t even write down all of the bands that I saw. I did write some short lists though:

Top three austin meals

• Polvo’s
• Enchiladas y Mas
• Rudy’s

Top three disappointments

• A Place to Bury Strangers day show at red eye fly. Yes, I understand that playing loud is your deal, but it sounded like shit there. Oddly enough, I saw Holy Fuck later in the afternoon and they were a million times louder and better.
• The triumphant return of hoaks pizza. As crazy excited as I was to see the return, the new girl completely sucks at getting the pizza to customers. Too fucking chatty. You can’t be chatty and listen to death metal, so I expect her to be gone by next year.
• Devtochka at cedar street. Not that it has anything to do with devotchka, but rather the venue. Cedar street sucks when you can’t get near the stage. All you can hear from the middle is the conversations from the back. Not the best concert-going experience.

Best shows from bands I had never seen before

• The Helio Sequence - Since there are only two of them I would say that the show was a bit boring, but I really like their album so it was fine by me.
• The Forms - I can’t even remember what they sound like now, but I know I was pleasantly surprised by how good they were.
• Holy Fuck - HOLY FUCK they were loud.
• Spindrift - they get double points because I had never even heard of them. Jack and I just stopped to see what they sounded like because they had the hugest band and most eclectic set of instruments I’ve seen in a long time I double-neck guitar/bass? Steel string guitar? Some kind of electric harp? Weirdo accordian box thing? Let’s throw in two drummers to complete the sound.

Oddest SXSW moments

• Pouring a lonestar tallboy on the drummer from monotonix during their set
• Watching Icelandic metal
• Watching Wing perform “Back in Black” by AC/DC.

I’m slowly working my way through the SXSW 2009 list, but April has already taken a first stab at the list. Maybe I’ll get off my lazy ass and post something over there about my love of the Dead Milkmen or at least the shows I’m thinking of seeing at SXSW this year.

• I’m going to see the Dead Milkmen again.
• Faith no More are apparently getting back together (well, without Jim Martin, and likely just in Europe - I guess it’s time to renew that passport).
• SXSW is less than a month away.
• In less awesome news, but possibly still cool - Jane’s Addiction might play SXSW
• And in what will likely be catastrophically bad new MGM is going to remake Robocop ANNNNNNNDDDD Red Dawn

The first time I got my diamond card it was a long, painful process. The second year I gambled so much between Tahoe, Vegas (twice) and multiple AC trips that it wasn’t even a question. But this year it was looking like I wouldn’t even get to platinum status. But much like the apartment I pay way too much for, once I get used to something there’s no going back for me. So the options were either to stop gambling or find a way to get 9000 tier points FAST.

Luckily my fellow craps addict Heather already had the solution for me. Video Poker. All I had to do was learn how to play. So I went back to my favorite gambling website, wizardofodds.com, and started reading Jacks or Better strategy. It’s actually much easier than I expected it to be and within a couple hours I was making no mistakes on the java simulator.

Armed with my new VP knowledge, I headed down to AC determined to get my diamond card. I went with $5 VP because it’s in the high limit room. The high limit room is fucking amazing. Good drink service, no crowds and a private bathroom. But there’s a whole other world when you play VP that I had never noticed. All the good machines were taken and there was no sign that these people would be leaving any time soon. I went to the craps table to wait it out. Finally at 4am it opened up. I was already smashed but still remebered the rules fairly well. I put on my headphones and quickly got into a rythm. Four hours later I had all the points I needed and I was up so it was time to get the hell out of there. But I didn’t want to. VP is awesome-no idiots slowing the game down, no one smashing themselves up next to you or asking stupid questions. Just you and the game. And you can make it as fast or as slow as you want. It still doesn’t beat hitting four (or more) points for the fire bet in craps, but it is definitely a new kind of awesome.

The only downside is that when you hit a jackpot ($1250), you have to wait so they can fill out a W-2G, so now I have figure out how to deal with it when I do my taxes. It’s a small price to pay though.

in the spirit of Amanda’s recent visit to the NYC, I decided I should write a subway rider’s guide for visitors.

First a few general observations:
1. While the first and last subway cars are generally less crowded, you always run the risk of running into a smelly homeless guy. If you are unfamiliar with the homeless, they can smell up an entire car (no joke).
2. If it is rush hour and you are not in a particular hurry, there is no reason to cram into a crowded train. The next train more than likely will be empty.
3. Yes, trains are gross, but if you are unfamiliar with the subway line hold on to something. Otherwise when it suddenly moves you will run into a stranger, which is almost worse than touching the handrail.
4. Shut the fuck up. Seriously. Yes, it is a giant train, but the people you are talking to are still RIGHT NEXT TO YOU. Unless Jason Voorhees (Jason from Friday the 13th) is on the train, no one gives a fuck.
5. Don’t look beggars in they eye. Gawk at them as they walk away like everyone else. They consider eye contact a desire to be bothered more.
6. Buying anything on the subway is asking to get swindled.
7. If you have a seat, offer it to anyone who gets on the train that is handicapped, pregnant, or old. It’s just nice.
8. Offering your seat to a hot girl does not mean she wants to hear you talk about yourself and how different the city is from New Jersey. And I don’t either - see number 4.
9. Girls - don’t accept a seat from a skeezy guy unless you want to torture yourself and everyone else on the train with his banal shtick.
10. It’s ok to people watch until they make eye contact with you. Then it’s only polite to find someone else to stare at until they are off guard again. Then it’s ok to start staring again.

The rules for picking a spot on the subway:
1. First and foremost: smell. If the car smells when you walk in, IMMEDIATELY find another car. The smell will only get worse.
2. In the summer, make sure the AC works. Key giveaways (besides the mugginess) are open windows.
3. Look for homeless people and get as far away as possible from them. Consider switching cars or waiting for the next train, if you aren’t in a hurry.
4. For seats, urinal rules apply; always sit as far as possible from the next person. You aren’t going to make friends with a stranger, so stay the hell away from them.
5. If you must stand, your goal should be to minimize contact with strangers. If that isn’t your priority, I have no idea why you are reading this. On a relatively empty car, minimum contact spot will be standing in the doorway opposite the platform side. Runner up would be the platform side of the door, as long as you move when people are getting on/off the train. Side benefit - you can just lean against the door instead of touching the handrail.
6. On a crowded train, the minimum contact will be 1/3rd and 2/3rd through the train. These are also the farthest spots from the exits. Note, you will have to make contact to get in out of this position.

A couple closing thoughts:
If you have selected someone to peoplewatch, try to position them between you and the subway map. this gives you a great reason to stare and if you need a closer look at them you can just go read the map.
I forgot to mention before, but on a uncrowded train, if you happen to get a seat, make yourself big to discourage others from sitting. don’t be obnoxious about it, but try something like setting your bag down next to you or practice your foot-tapper impression.

good luck and don’t touch anything.

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Happy 1yr anniversary, torn ACL.

From the American Airlines Advantage newsletter:

Dear Gustavo,

The sights, the sounds, the non-stop entertainment. Did you know you have enough AAdvantage® miles to get to Vegas?

I miss you too Las Vegas, I really do. We’ll catch up soon, I promise.

I haven’t posted about music in a while, largely because I haven’t bee listening to much of anything new lately. The newest for me is the latest girltalk, which continues to rock ass. I missed a million shows in september due to my recruiting travel, but I’m going to start making up for that soon.

I broke down and bought the badge for sxsw next year. I haven’t decided if it was a good idea oe not yet, but we’ll see. I also just booked my flight for funfunfunfest, which means I will finally get to see the Dead Milkmen in person and I will see Rival Schools as well. Everything else is icing on the cake. There are some bands that I have already seen and know I like (minus the bear) and others that I want to see just because I’ve heard they are supposed to be good, or even better, have a name that I find funny (The Toxic Avenger). If anyone shows up dressed as Melvin the mopboy I will wet my pants and then I will take pictures (of the guy, not my pants).

In NY music news, I have a lot of shows coming up over the next few months. GWAR (that’s right motherfuckers), Danzig (metalriffic), girltalk (indies hipsters prepare to get served by my hiphopancer), and the Toadies (rocking like it’s 1995). I can’t even remember what else I have lined up, but it’s going to be better than shaking hands with 200 college students with questionable hygiene. Thank goodness that’s over.

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